Friday, December 18, 2009

Cleanliness.

I had a one-night-stand a little ways back with a guy who seemed normal enough: cute curly hair, the not-socially-hopeless kind of geek, super cuddly and sweet. And the sex itself was okay if terribly ordinary--if I moan and say "ooh, I like that" after you spank me once, that is not your cue to never spank me again--but afterwards, he immediately ripped the sheets off his bed and stuffed them in the laundry bin. Then jumped in the shower and scrubbed himself down, and asked me "aren't you going to shower now?" and more or less made me shower.

And then bid me good night and was very sweet and cuddly again.

Huh. It's not like we got fluids all over. Maybe I'm gross, but I definitely would rate vanilla sex with no spillage as a Kleenex and shower-in-the-morning situation, not something requiring immediate decontamination. I don't think it was an insult to me, but there was definitely some weird hangup going on there.

9 comments:

  1. I love the messiness of sex (as long as the mess stays out of my orifices). It's offputting when someone is all prim about it.

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  2. Dude sounds OCD or something.

    My partner and I often hit the shower to freshen up after sex (a sudsy butt is fine too!) I don't change the sheets though unless there's a good reason.

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  3. Osoborracho - The weird part was, he wasn't OCD about anything else, he could go out and not freak about touching things or even eating things that weren't super clean. I think he just learned somewhere that it was socially normal to decontaminate after sex.

    That's the weird thing about sex--because it's so private, social norms don't always get standardized. Although I've never seen anyone else be so direct about it, I've heard other people say they wash their sheets every time they have sex.

    Every time stuff gets on them, yeah, and more often than if you're not having any sex, but every single time seems way excessive to me.

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  4. This is a very interesting concept:

    "because it's so private, social norms don't always get standardized."

    I think that in itself would make an interesting post... or two - there could be all kinds of Seinfeld-type stuff happening out there.

    I think that was a tad obsessive. Hubby and I actually love to shower before and get all worked up with suds, and then use washcloths or whatever after.

    It makes you think that he finds it (meaning sex) offensive - if that's the case, why do it? Weird.

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  5. Meh. People are weird. His kink is okay. ;)

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  6. That does seem like "excessive hygiene" in my book. I mean, I don't like to lie in a wet spot, but that's what the top sheet is for, right?

    flightless

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  7. elmo iscariot: I'd call that a quirk, not a kink! It doesn't sound as though washing the sheets got him all excited for round 2. ;-)

    flightless

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  8. Elmo Iscariot - I agree with Flightless, he wasn't getting off on it, he was very matter-of-factly cleaning up. He had the same attitude a normal guy would have grabbing a fistful of Kleenex, it definitely wasn't a kink.

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  9. I had a similar thing happen to me! Not with a one night stand...but with a short relationship...And it turned out the guy was married. :(

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